Golf cheater makes war plans on the 18th hole

Photo: Middle East Forum

Just when you think you’ve seen it all…

Seconds after watching the concluding round of the PGA Tour Cadillac Championship golf tournament at his Doral golf club in Miami, Donald Trump went on his Truth Social account and posted his war plans to use the United States Navy to “guide Ships” through the Strait of Hormuz beginning tomorrow morning “Middle East Time.” And yes, he capitalized “Ships” and “Crews” throughout the post.

I have a hard time comprehending exactly how insane this is. First of all, there is a war going on with Iran, and Trump is down there in Florida, staying at his residence/hotel/club/top-secret-stolen-documents-storage-facility, Mar a Lago, and what he thought was important to do today, with American troops in danger in the Middle East, was to attend a fucking golf tournament.

Then there is the usual insanity of using Truth Social to blast out what he thinks he’s going to do in his war against Iran. Of course, there is the plan itself, to help “people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong — They are victims of circumstance.” The circumstance being that Trump started a war with Iran and in retaliation, Iran closed the Strait of Hormuz, stranding some 2,000 ships that have been anchored on either side of the Strait since February 28, more than four months ago.

Now comes the rationale: “This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran.”

Huh? Iran closed the Strait. The U.S. has had all Iran trade under sanctions for years…until Trump started his war and Iran closed the Strait, starving the world of 20 percent of the international oil trade – except for Iran’s oil, on which he lifted sanctions, along with sanctions on Russian oil, because of the oil shortage that he, Donald J. Trump, caused on February 28.

So get this: Iran is selling its oil on the open market. Iran’s ships are transiting the Strait of Hormuz, except that we’re blockading them. Or something.

Trump goes on to say he thinks escorting the ships will “go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months.”

This statement is more insanity. Just between you and me and Trump’s golf caddy, “all of those” who have been engaged in this war are three: the United States and Israel, who started the war, and Iran, whom they attacked. Trump also whines that the “Crews” of the stuck vessels, which he falsely identifies as “largescale” for some reason, are running out of food and suffering from “health” and “sanitary” problems.

As if Trump has ever worried about the health and sanitary conditions of anyone other than himself and his immediate family, and probably not so much about Eric and Tiffany.

He also has to issue a threat, because what would a Trump post on Truth Social be without an ill-conceived, ill-directed, unplanned-for, and insane threat. If his “Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully,” Trump claims at the very end of his post.

Any sane person considering such a plan and such a threat would ask: Exactly how is this going to happen? We have somewhere between 15 and 20 warships in the Persian Gulf region, including three aircraft carrier strike groups. One of these strike groups typically consists of the aircraft carrier – those on station in the region are the Gerald Ford, the Abraham Lincoln, and the George H.W. Bush – and seven to twelve combat supporting vessels, so if their strike groups are at full combat readiness, there goes the availability of all the guided missile cruisers, destroyers, submarines, and supply ships that are necessary to defend the three aircraft carriers.

If all those naval vessels are busy defending the floating targets we call aircraft carriers, what ships are we going to use to “guide” commercial vessels through the dangerous Strait of Hormuz, which at this point has been mined by Iran and is protected by a flotilla of vessels that have been hidden from U.S. attacks by the Iran Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC). Those vessels include fast-attack speedboats, catamarans armed with missiles, and unmanned naval surface drones. Despite Trump’s constant bellowing that the U.S. bombing has put the entire Iranian navy, which he says consists of 159 ships, “on the bottom of the sea,” there are reports that with 1,200 miles of shoreline and countless small bays and hiding places, Iran has managed to save as many as 1,000 of its small attack craft.

So, let’s review. There are 2,000 commercial vessels stuck on either side of the Strait of Hormuz. Some of them are said to be close to running out of fuel oil, so they would presumably need refueling before they could be “guided” through the Strait. We have about 20 warships in the region, including three carriers, so that means about 17 usable escort vessels, because our Navy isn’t going to let one of its precious carriers anywhere near the Strait, which is defended not only by the IRGC small boat fleet, but by missile batteries deeply dug into the range of mountains that overlooks the entire Iranian shoreline and is within range of firing those missiles on any ship daring to enter the Strait.

With 20 Navy warships that we can’t use, because they’re defending aircraft carriers, how are we going to “guide” even a single ship through the Strait? If Trump and Hegseth are foolish enough to dispatch one of our destroyers or guided missile cruisers to escort a commercial vessel – and they just might be that foolish – and it is attacked, Trump has already told the world, including Iran, that we will deal with it “forcefully.”

Which means bombing the shit out Iran, so they’ll be ready for that, too.

Trump’s entire 18^th hole war plan is idiocy of the first order…and the second and the third and the fourth. It’s worse than folly. It is public, out in the open, in the clear military planning madness.

Donald Trump isn’t the only one who can use social media to make military plans and threats. Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Corps has an account on X. The IRGC concludes that “Trump’s room for decision-making has narrowed.” Noting that Trump has sent a “passive letter to Congress” brought on by the 60-day deadline which caused him to “declare that hostilities are over,” the IRGC says “there is only one way to read this: Trump must choose between ‘an impossible military operation or a bad deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran.’”

The IRGC use of the English language on X is better than that of Donald Trump on Truth Social. Naturally.

I wonder how that response went down at the 18^th hole at Doral as Trump watched the final foursome making their putts at the “Cadillac Championship.”

The whole world is watching, and the whole world is laughing at our certifiably demented and insane president, who has been bragging over and over that he has been officially tested three times by real doctors, and he passed because he can tell the difference between a bear and a giraffe.