Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri traveled all the way from Washington D.C. to Orlando, Florida, to tell the National Conservatism Conference that “Observers from the ancient Romans to our forefathers identified the manly virtues as indispensable for political liberty.” But “The Left,” as Hawley put it, “want to define traditional masculinity as toxic. They want to define the traditional masculine virtues—things like courage, and independence, and assertiveness—as a danger to society.”
How have American men responded to this assault on their…let me see…manhood? Why, they “are withdrawing into the enclave of idleness and pornography and video games,” the senator exclaimed.
Heavens! It’s a crisis! Who’s to blame? Who are these savages on “The Left” who are “deconstructing” American manhood? Why, feminists, of course, and academics, and fellow senators, and of course those terrible “mid-century intellectuals like Jacques Derrida and Herbert Marcuse; and farther back to the Frankfurt School of the 1930s; and back farther still to Marx.”
Practically out of breath he’s so frantic, Hawley googles and googles and googles until he comes up with another guy to blame: Author John Stoltenberg. What’s author John’s crime? Well, according to Hawley, he “writes that talking about 'healthy masculinity' is like talking about `healthy cancer.’”
Googling further, Hawley comes up with Professor Suzanna Walters of Northeastern University, who he discovers has said that “it seems logical to hate men” unless they “pledge to vote for feminist women only” and “don’t run for office.”
And what of his fellow Senators? You know, all those far-out leftists lounging around on their leather seats in that august body? “Many of my Democrat colleagues in the Senate won’t even say the word “mother” anymore, for heaven’s sake,” Hawley cries. “’Birthing people’” is the term of choice, as if women don’t exist,” he says, without naming these “many Democrat colleagues.”
“We need the kind of men who make republics possible,” Hawley told the crowd of conservatives gathered in the city where “the happiest place on earth” is just down the street. And he should know. He threw them the power fist on the morning of January 6 as he passed a group of the men who less than an hour later would breach the Capitol’s defenses and make the kind of republic Hawley contemplates possible.
I actually read the speech Hawley delivered in Orlando. All of it. Every last word. Hawley told his eager listeners that “The Left” believes “manhood is a disease to be defeated.” He reminded them that in 2019, the Gillette razor company “infamously ran an ad campaign for its razors that included this voice over: ‘Bullying … MeToo movement against sexual harassment … toxic masculinity … is this the best a man can get?’”
The good Senator from Missouri has a solution, natch: “To keep a republic, you have to be willing to fight for it.” But of course! You have to act like a man! You have to be willing to fight!
“You have to discipline your passions and sacrifice in the service of others. These virtues are the bright side of the aggression and competitiveness and independence. Assertiveness and independence are strengths when used to protect and empower others.”
“Every republic needs those kind of men,” Hawley reminds us. You know who he means: the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, the Three Percenters. The ones he power-fisted the morning of January 6.
This is who we’re up against, folks. Josh “I’m a Man Not a Mouse” Hawley and the fighters for liberty and the republic he calls men.
Please, save us. Get out and vote.
Mr. Hawley espouses a boy's idea of a man.
All that expensive education, and this is the best he can do. His karma deficit increaseth exponentially.