A press conference was held in Palm Beach this afternoon where a piece of ancient history was put on display: Apparently unearthed by storm surges caused by Hurricane Debby, a bacterium from the Boguszoic age was shown to reporters who gathered in an ornately decorated ballroom in a garish mansion near the beach to witness the big reveal. Several reporters who were interviewed claimed to have seen the bacterium near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in a half-filled arena where the bacterium appeared to be even more red-faced and angry, according to witnesses.
Call the Museum of Unnatural History to take this into their collection! It might be an invasive species of unmitigated protozoan half-life which has survived since dinosaurs died.
It should be isolated and kept in a petri dish until the scientists figure out why it exists at all.
It should not be allowed to spread uncontrollably in the human population because it is toxic and damaging to human life.
When I got to the paragraph that started with Reporters arrived from far...I was laughing so hard I couldn't see the screen well enough to continue reading. That was a tasty treat Lucian, thank you for it. We are starting to see signs of the laughter that we have missed ever since the insipid orange turd was elected, they must be panicking down there, the very thought of that keeps a permanent smile on my face. 😎💥🙏🏻
The bacterium itself is a weak, pathetic organism, with little to no adaptive abilities other than its high infectivity rate. Other life forms, especially those less evolved, often have their brain tissue invaded by this bacterium resulting in serious cases of magameningitis. Magameningitis is characterized by a dissociation from reality, an extreme susceptibility to fantasy, and propensity for violent verbiage and occasionally physical actions. This bacterium and its resulting infected populace must be contained and eradicated for the good of the human race.
Mushroom procreation isn't pretty and is rarely successful as the results tend to be of similarly useless vapid ilk, so far. Barron has yet to blossom, so no telling yet.
Once everyone is certain no more examination is needed, it is only proper that it find its proper resting place at Trump National Golf Club and Cemetary Bedminster, New Jersey.
With all due respect, the weeds should again be cleared out near Ivana's grave, and this vital artifact be placed about ten feet deep, where no MAGA necrophiliacs can reach it.
Fortunately, there is a vaccine. Vote blue!
I just remembered that blue and orange are complementary colors -- opposite each other on the color wheel. <g>
NY Mets, Islanders, too!
YOU BET!
Call the Museum of Unnatural History to take this into their collection! It might be an invasive species of unmitigated protozoan half-life which has survived since dinosaurs died.
It should be isolated and kept in a petri dish until the scientists figure out why it exists at all.
It should not be allowed to spread uncontrollably in the human population because it is toxic and damaging to human life.
Fortunately it has a parole officer to contain it to the original state it is in, although it may be allowed to make forays elsewhere on occasion.
😂😂😂😂
Wonderful!! Get out the Chrolox Bleach immediately :)
And the infrared lights to shove up its a$$
🤣
This just keeps getting better and better with each comment!
Just spit out my covfefe - hysterical
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
When I got to the paragraph that started with Reporters arrived from far...I was laughing so hard I couldn't see the screen well enough to continue reading. That was a tasty treat Lucian, thank you for it. We are starting to see signs of the laughter that we have missed ever since the insipid orange turd was elected, they must be panicking down there, the very thought of that keeps a permanent smile on my face. 😎💥🙏🏻
The bacterium itself is a weak, pathetic organism, with little to no adaptive abilities other than its high infectivity rate. Other life forms, especially those less evolved, often have their brain tissue invaded by this bacterium resulting in serious cases of magameningitis. Magameningitis is characterized by a dissociation from reality, an extreme susceptibility to fantasy, and propensity for violent verbiage and occasionally physical actions. This bacterium and its resulting infected populace must be contained and eradicated for the good of the human race.
Lucien, it’s so good to laugh again! Thank you
I hope it doesn’t procreate
Damn. Already did. This awful bacterium infects women susceptible to the odor of money
And the offspring of the bug are just as bad!
Mushroom procreation isn't pretty and is rarely successful as the results tend to be of similarly useless vapid ilk, so far. Barron has yet to blossom, so no telling yet.
Just ask Stormy about the efficacy of the mushroom.
He’s taller than his dad.
I've heard he does not like that!
Too late! As was said in "The Mouse That Roared," there's even more!
Alas-- it already has!
To equate the Bloated Yam to bacterium from the Boguszoic Age is simply wonderful!
Everyone wear your mask!
Or your MUSK
I lost it at " ancient talking points, " So glad Kamala make Laughing out Loud fashionable.
A welcome exercise in mental health. Thank you Lucian.
This virulent strain of deadly bacteria can be eradicated with Votum Democratus Americana.
This is awesome!!!
And since it took place in Florida it must have been pier-reviewed 🙄
Once everyone is certain no more examination is needed, it is only proper that it find its proper resting place at Trump National Golf Club and Cemetary Bedminster, New Jersey.
With all due respect, the weeds should again be cleared out near Ivana's grave, and this vital artifact be placed about ten feet deep, where no MAGA necrophiliacs can reach it.
😹😹 Brilliant! Love this!