I mean it. Look at his face. He gives new meaning to the words, self-satisfied asshole. That’s a face that never missed a meal, never bounced a check, was never late with the rent, never picked up a fucking check. It’s the face of a putrescent, pusillanimous prick who hasn’t entertained a genuinely new thought in twenty years. The words pig-headed frat-boy don’t do him justice. The only rival who stands even a teeny chance of contending for his Championship Dick Belt is Brett Kavanaugh, and he is only a pretender to the almighty Tuck Throne. Even the execrable likes of Josh Hawley and Tom Cotton cower in his shadow. Tucker is Number One.
How do we know this? Well, Tucker went on something called “Fox News Primetime,” a 7 p.m. show on the Fox News Channel, to announce to the world that he is 100 percent behind “replacement theory,” the white supremacist notion that there is a conspiracy variously among liberals, Democrats, Jews, and Black people to “replace” white American citizens with immigrants and people of color. You probably remember this nonsense best from the 2018 torch-bearing KKK-style march of preppy Nazis and white supremacists in Charlottesville when they yelled their slogans, “You will not replace us,” and “Jews will not replace us.” Well, Tucker has now signed up. The multi-millionaire prime time Fox News host and scion of the family that owns Swanson frozen foods wants you to know that he is now picking up the metaphorical torch for this white supremacist theory. He believes in it, and he’s preaching it to the viewers of his prime time show on Fox News, and his new online “Fox Nation” show called “Tucker Carlson Today.” He’s taking it mainstream.
"I know that the left and all the little gatekeepers on Twitter become literally hysterical if you use the term 'replacement,' if you suggest that the Democratic Party is trying to replace the current electorate of voters now casting ballots with new people, more obedient voters from the Third World," Carlson told Fox viewers last Thursday. "If you change the population, you dilute the political power of the people who live there. So every time they import a new voter, I become disenfranchised as a current voter."
Let’s pause for a moment and examine Tucker’s version of the “replacement theory.” He seems to think that voting in an election is like making a pot of coffee. Every time a new person votes, it’s like adding more water to the pot without adding any ground coffee. You’re “diluting” the power of poor Tucker’s vote. But let him explain it to you:
“White replacement theory? No, no, this is a voting rights question," says Tucker. "I have less political power because they are importing a brand new electorate. Why should I sit back and take that the power that I have as an American -- guaranteed at birth as one man, one vote -- they are diluting it. They are not allowed to do it. Why are we putting up with this?"
Well, Tuck old boy, we’re “putting up with” it because of your fundamental misunderstanding of “one man, one vote,” which guarantees that no one’s vote counts more than anyone else’s. It’s the theory that the Voting Rights Act of 1965 put in place to correct the Jim Crow system in the south, wherein the “one man” votes of white people counted because they could vote, and the “one man” vote of Black people did not count, because they could not vote. When the Civil Rights Act added Black votes to elections in the south, the votes of white people were not diluted. They were contested.
This is what “replacement theory” seeks to end, the contesting of votes by white people not by adding more white votes to election totals, but by preventing the votes of people who are other than white. But don’t listen to me. Listen to the way Tucker explained it to the audience watching Fox News last week. He asked them to imagine a family which already has biological children and decides to adopt some children.
"Look, if this was happening in your house, if you were in sixth grade, for example, and without telling you, your parents adopted a bunch of new siblings and gave them brand new bikes and let them stay up later and helped them with their homework and gave them twice the allowance that they gave you, you would say to your siblings, 'You know, I think we are being replaced by kids that our parents love more.'"
So there it is, folks, “replacement theory” in all of its Tuckeresque glory.
Just in case his viewers didn’t get the point, he drove it home with this: "It would be kind of hard to argue against you, because look at the evidence. So, this matters on a bunch of different levels but on the most basic level, it's a voting rights question."
Look at the evidence, Tucker told his metaphorical siblings watching Fox. And here’s the beauty part. He didn’t have to tell them what his phony “evidence” is, because they’re primed and ready from five years of listening to Donald Trump rave on about how the libs and the Democrats and the pointy-headed-intellectuals have polluted their heritage and denied them what’s rightfully theirs. They had all the “bikes” and “allowance” and “help with their homework” before all these Black and Brown and “third world” people came along and took it away from them…how? Well, by their presence, that’s how. By the fact that these adopted siblings are in the house with all of their biological brothers and sisters. Just because they’re there.
What comprises an actual “replacement” is left unsaid. For example, if you “replace” a nickel with a quarter, well, now you have a quarter. If you “replace” a cookie with a muffin, same thing: now you have a muffin. But not for Tucker.
What he’s really talking about isn’t “replacement,” it’s mathematics. When you add new citizens to a population, you’re not “replacing” the citizens who are already there, you’re increasing its numbers. It’s addition that they’re afraid of.
Ultimately, they’re terrified of adding to the gene pool by the mixing of the races that the Census and demographic studies show is already going on. “Replacement” is just another word for mixing. Between 1913 and 1948, 30 of the then 48 states in the Union had anti-miscegenation laws, forbidding the mixing of the races by marriage and also forbidding the mixing of the races by sexual relations. Yes, not only could you not marry, you couldn’t fuck. At the time the Supreme Court decided the famous Loving v. Virginia case in 1967, 16 states still had their anti-miscegenation laws on the books, all in the south.
Tucker Carlson doesn’t just want to turn the clock back to the days when, in his theory, white votes were “replaced” by Black votes. He wants to turn the clock back to the days when the laws kept the white race “pure” by forbidding the “replacement” of white babies by allowing the birth of non-white mixed-race babies.
And he’s spewing this garbage on Fox News, a cable channel owned by the same immigrant (from Australia), Rupert Murdoch, who owns the Fox broadcasting channel, Dow Jones, the Wall Street Journal, and the HarperCollins publishing house.
The employees of the rest of the so-called “Fox family” should be asked how they like being associated with the racist garbage being spewed by their well-compensated compatriot. Tucker Carlson is a flat-out, spoiled brat racist and he’s polluting their business and their culture. You want to talk about replacement? Tucker Carlson needs replacement.